Adulthood is cool. Maybe.
Naya shot out a truly wonderful newsletter about defining adulthood by experiencing it. The "wait, am I?" moment. It's moving and real and reminded me how much I've grappled with this issue. I've only felt comfortable being an adult for the last few of my 36 years. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.
I'm writing this between pauses and plays of this guy.
See, I found out that there are five living beings in my home; I've only known of four. The fifth is a mouse. A rat. A rodent motherfucker mooching off of me and hiding underneath my kitchen floor. GASP. So, after thinking of moving, we've decided to renovate our kitchen and keep our lovely, if infested, apartment. Decided, that's the operative word.
I had asked my therapist what it meant to be an adult. I'm not sure if her answer was tailored to her knowledge of me or if it was the answer she'd give anyone, but here it goes: Adulthood is about freedom and responsibility. You are free to do anything you want, and you are responsible for it. Simple. Right? Kinda.
The actual experience of being an adult is hidden in how you feel about those two things, combined. Teenagers have plenty of freedom, very little responsibility. Employees have a shit ton of responsibility, and a mere sliver of freedom. But as an adult, one has both, seemingly endlessly. So, how comfortable you can get with this fact determines how you feel about adulthood, if you even can recognise yourself as one.
To wit, and in explanation of the DIY dude up top, I am comfortable about renovating the kitchen. I'm not second guessing myself to death. I am okay spending the money, I feel excited about choosing the right stuff for it, and I am optimistic about the deal I've struck with the landlord. I am an adult and I feel okay about it. Maybe.
By the way, the irony is not lost on me that the 5 beings living in this house are a man and a woman, 2 DAMN CATS and a mouse.
THE RIGHTNOW
The Steve Buscemi feature in GQ is glorious. He's an adult man to whom I really look up, for the way he talks about the love of his life, the way he approaches his craft and for the manner in which he's figured out how to live. Plus, I'm planning to watch his writing and directing debut, Trees Lounge. Besides Buscemi, I'm always there for some Chloë Sevigny and some Debi Mazar New York realness.
MARLOWE & KOTA THE FRIEND
Not on purpose, but as I grow older I listen to more and more hip hop. Plenty of new stuff, but more often than not I'm either in a golden-age '90s mood or new stuff that sounds like it. Marlowe's 2018 album of the same name and everything Kota the Friend has ever done are two prime examples of the genre. Lyrically, they are a far cry from the machismo of the gangsta era, especially Kota. He ventures into deeply intimate explorations of life, from aspirations of being a good dad to jumping out of the music industry bandwagon. I won't spoil it further.
IS NEWSJACKING RELEVANCE?
I saw a post on a digital marketing group I follow on Facebook. It was about clothing detergent Skip posting about the George Floyd murder. The discussion in the comments basically focused on the fact that the brand has launched, before the fact, a "segregation is only for laundry" campaign, and therefore they are entitled to speak on the matter of a hate crime. I'm not sure that's true, from an ethical or from a marketing standpoint. But that's the problem: I'm not sure. Nike did the same thing and I didn't have the same feelings towards it.
BRICK
I'm going on a noir bender. Don't try and stop me, my heart is set and my mind is made.
One of the things I'm most proud of that I've written is old, not super polished and perhaps not that great. It was a Film Theory paper on Brick, Rian Johnson's breakout film. I think that's the reason I have so much reverence for a 70 year old genre and its tropes.
Here’s what is already being downloaded. Add to my list.